WHAT IS MARRIAGE a 30 point answer?

 I have tried to compile this just for fun......

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence). 

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution fo the blind. 

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING. 

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens. 

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead. 

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. 

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. 

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. 

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE! 

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense. 

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. 

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL. 

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe. 

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together. 

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent. 

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always. 

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer. 

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT. 

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on. 

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN. 

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished. 

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE. 

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

 

Disclaimer: The points here have been collected from various emails that I have got over years and may or maynot be my opinions

Foot Prints....

I read this somewhere....

One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you" 

Now the version applicable to me and people like me....
Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head!!!"

The Curious case of doctors...

I am sick!!! Not the "sick", which I know some of you would say I am, but physically unwell. I have been like this for a week now. And I hate to be 'physically unwell'.

I hate to go to doctors, in spite of me scolding all the people I know who do not go to a doctor when they are unwell. It is really difficult to practice what you preach in this case for me. So I stayed at home and tried the usual stuff that most of us would do, took d'cold (paracetamol 300mg, Pseudoephedrine 36mg  and Triprolidine 1.5mg) and the very trusted Benadryl (Diphenhydramine Hydrochloride 12.5mg, Ammonium Chloride 125mg, Sodium Citrate 50mg). It went on for 2 days and no respite. Then I changed to coldact (Fenilpropanolamine hydrochlorate 50 mg, Chlorfeniramin maleat 8 mg) and Benadryl, for next two days. Still no respite. Then I decided, it is high time and I went to see a doctor, Mr. S Medicinewala (name changed to protect his identity).

Dr.: So what is the problem??

Me: I have been having sore throat, dry cough and running/blocked nose for past 4 days. I feel feverish too, though the temperature is around 99-100. Have been taking paracetamol and drinking Benadryl.

Dr.: So how long has it been??

Me: I think I said 4 days..

Dr.: So what did you do??

Me: Sorry??

Dr.: I mean what medications have you been taking??

Me: Sorry doc, but did I not just mention all that to you??

Dr.: Oh! yes you did. 

He puts on his stethoscope and tells "Breathe in and out"

When I do it, he is like " No no no...! Breeeaaaaathee in and breeeaathee out"

Me: Oh, you mean take a deep breath in and exhale slowly??

Dr.: Yes!! Good boy, good boy!!

I was shocked, this guy who is the doc, is probably around my age, maybe younger and he is like "good boy" to me. I generally use that word for my dog, when he does what I ask him to do!! I was imagining myself as a doggie with a collar around my neck and instantly smiled (wonders that can happen when you are physically unwell, imagination running wild).

Then he makes me go through the routine "Open you mouth" " Show Aaaaaaaaaa" etc..

And then he says, it is just a viral infection, will prescribe some medicines and you'll be right as rain!!

I thank him and pay his fees. Man, these guys sure are costly, he charged a little more than what I get paid for a day, as salary, for the time that he spent with me, which is like less than 6 mins.

I buy the tablets prescribed by him and come home. Will not name the tablets here as I am afraid of being sued by the pharmaceutical company. You'll soon know why. There were two tablets, one was pure Paracetamol 500mg, with some added colors and the other tablet had the composition similar to D'cold.

I really don't know what to say here. he charges me money for prescribing me the same tablets that I anyways was having, albiet from a different manufacturer. I ate the tablets that he prescribed, just coz I had paid the money to buy 'em. 

Is this a case of looting. I felt so powerless to do anything about it. If this happens to educated people like us, I was wondering what would be the case with people who are medically illiterate. I mean just how many of us bother about looking at the composition of the tablets that we take??

I don't know what to say after this, other than the fact that I felt cheated and duped......

Random thought

" Nothing prevents us from being natural, so much as the desire to appear so"

Jai Sri Ram...

I was reading through my friend’s blogpost the other day and felt I should also write about it. Was held up with a little work and the words just wouldn’t take shape in the mind. But now….

 Firstly as an answer to what The Mad Hatter (I actually have no idea why he chose that pseudo name, but I am assuming it is because he is someone who wears all the de Bono Hats, and wears them quite intelligently) says, Sri Ram would have approved. Now before people get me wrong, I have some things to add.

n      Sri Ram’s army (Sene, Sena whatever) was that of monkeys (no disrespect intended).

n      Sri Ram was the person who asked Mata Sita to give agni pariksha.

 So IMAO, the Sri Rama Sene would do nothing but whatever monkeys do best, and also it has to be the women folk who disrespect INDIAN CULTURE by pubbing.

 There is a lot of talk about western culture influencing young people, pubbing culture being rampant etc. etc. by many so called protectors of the Indian culture. I have but a simple question to these people, what do you mean by culture? These people have no respect for anything and they call themselves protectors! J Anyways, as the hatter puts it, it is probably the Fatwa envy that has been the cause of all these recent bad and petty quarrels.

 Why is it that everyone wants to tell us what we should and should not?

n      There are these religious fanatics who will define the ways we pray.

n      There is this minister who tells us what to eat and what to drink.

n      There are censor board people who will decide what should go into a movie and what is not appropriate.

n      There are these so called moral police who will decide what we should wear.

n      Then there are some commentators who have not played a single test and commenting on a Sachin, Ganguly and Dravid’s batting.

There are lot many more than I could care to write. Is it that all of us are retarded (I guess that is the correct word), that we always need someone to think for us.

This is to all of us…..

PS: All the opinions are my own and I think I am entitled to it as is anyone else to theirs. Just for the record I am not a Hindu basher or a leftist or a right winger or a pseudo secularist and my political inclining and my religion is my own choice and I need not make a public statement on it!! J

Kanua???

Well, what does Kanua mean?? I frankly had no idea, till I went to this restaurant.

This one is a concept restaurant situated in Kaikondrahalli, Sarjapur Road. It is the perfect place you want to go, with your parents, spouse, friends or alone... :)

I was taken there first by my friend Mr. "D " and have gone there umpteen number of times afterwards. I have really fallen in love with the place.

After the mad traffic into Sarjapur road, taking the first right after Fabmall and driving through a dirt track you come to this place on the right side of the road, a three storied building near an industrial warehouse. If you go there after sunset, this place has a eerie look to it. The restaurant is located on the second floor and you have to climb through a wooden staircase.

The first thing you notice when you start to climb the stairs is a board which says something like " Dear Patrons, children below 12 years will not be allowed after 6pm Thursday onwards...." (I must say I have seen a lot of kids coming to this place though, along with their parents).

The walls are only half height and if you get to sit at the side (which is most of them, except for the huge tables in the centre), you’ll have a cool breeze to keep you company. The lighting is muted and there are candles on every table. The music is soft and not too loud. Pleasant and soothing! I never had that kind of feeling before in a restaurant, the eating area is without walls and the décor is definitely what I remember from my childhood in my village. The doors open into two, there is woodwork everywhere and the tables and chairs too are from age old days (I mean only look-wise).

The menu card will definitely amuse you; it is like an old book with stamps in every page. Do not mistake them for stamps as they are the specials!! The menu describes to you what the various highly confusing and tongue-twisting names are so that you are not lost. Also the waiting staffs are very cordial and very helpful.

Alcohol is not served in this place, though regulars like us take a small bottle with us and give it to be served. Also it does not have aerated drinks there. There are quite a few beverages that will blow you off. There is sugarcane juice, lemon with mint iced tea so on and so forth, but trust me they all taste pleasantly different.

There is a wide range of starters in both vegetarian and non-vegetarian. I would recommendpodhies, try both the flavors, podhale podhies, made of snake gourd and normal podhies made of sweet potato and/or yam. Then there is Soorna Kachri (sliced yam fries, with tangy tamarind chutney dip). If you are a non-vegetarian, try the fish and the chicken all of them are too good. Sasve chicken and ghee roast deserve a special mention.

For main course I recommend Zalke Randhei (excellent seer fish in semi thick gravy) and Soorna Paachi. With the gravy you can select from rice, panpole or tava roti. Kanua serves two varieties of rice - the standard Basmati type and boiled. I personally love the neer-dosas there. It is simply mind blowing.

Almost all the portions are large and many a times I have ended up parceling the curries back home. The parcel is done in plastic containers, but the carry bag is not plastic, it is made of old newspapers. J

The best part is that there are no artificial colors or chemicals used in any of the preparations. All the things that I have eaten there (which by now is the entire menu card), I have enjoyed and it is good on the palette too. Now coming to the wallet part, it is not a place where only filthy rich can go. Compared to the other sea-food places in MG or Koramangala, this one is pretty decent. An above average meal with five to six starters and main course for three with four to five coolers should cost around Rs.2000/-.

If you drop in the evening and stay on till 9pm you might even bump into Mr. Rajesh, who actually is the owner and he’ll enthrall you with his stories as to what he does and how he came upon the idea of Kanua. A very nice and charming person!!

He mentioned that he has started another restaurant “EGG FACTORY” at White House, St. Marks road. That again is a concept place and has lots of dishes with eggs, right from breakfast to dinner. I forgot to mention that at Kanua you do not get breakfast and it is closed on Mondays.

Now what exactly is Kanua, I believe it means par-boiled brown rice, kind of a lost flavor of rice from south canara….

Near death.....

On Sunday (28^th December, 08) on my way back from Chennai in a car along with my friends we met with an accident. Our car hit a road divider and flew for around 150m in air and then fell on to the road and skidded with a broken right front tyre for another 300m.  All this happened in a span of few seconds, but I felt like I was in the air for and eternity!! There were four of us in the car including the guy who was driving and a brand new guitar that my friend had brought for around seven grand. The best part was none of us including the guitar had any damage! J The car was not so lucky; it had a broken tyre, a bent fender and a bent tyre rod, just to name a few.

 What prompted me to write this was the near death experience, I mean if the car had toppled (it probably would have if we did not have a 220 pound driver), then people would have been writing obituaries for me (high hopes!) rather than me writing this post. I went through a whole gamut of emotions during those few seconds and was wondering if I was the only one who went through it. So as soon as I was out of the shock (which I must say took more than 24 hours), I started to search the internet to find out more about it.

I must say, I was surprised and amused by the results that I found. I got to know that they even have a research foundation named NDERF (Near Death Experience Research Foundation), wherein people share their experiences and they do a lot of research on that. Why?? I have no clue..

Also there is a page in wikipedia (there is a page for almost everything in Wikipedia), where the NDE is described in real detail along with characteristics and what not. Boy.. wasn’t I surprised?

It really is a small world…… full of weird people...