Wednesday, September 1, 2010

And I kept on waiting....

Its 8:15 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years back waiting for my college bus. Little did I know then that things would change so much in 6 years; the sky under which I am standing seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thing that has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud and bubbly person into a quiet professional.

I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.

I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the window watching people trying to catch up with "life" .. It's an hour's journey and the only company that I generally have is the chatter of the RJ. I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance. It is annoying at times when the radio is switched off, not because I am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.

I can't help thinking about the short bus journeys to college ... well it's a paradox to call a distance of 30 KMs "short", but that is how it always seemed. A typical college day always begins in the bus with all the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in from the various stops, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that were stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who would watch on us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ... well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus journey.

I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.

It would be just another day staring at the mobile, wishing it would ring and bring back some wonderful moments that are now missing in life or maybe the safer option would be to come to office, for it's my new founded asylum these days. A few years back, weekends or weekdays didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be in running too fast to perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is suffering from some kind of paralytic attack.

There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends, but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only thing that I seem to look forward to ...However, I cant help but notice the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the paucity of words!

As I sip coffee from the ubiquitous coffee mug, watching the drops of rain, trickling down the tinted glass panes, veiling the scenic beauty outside, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I just have to wait.

Capricious are the ways of life, for I know there would be many who'd be able to empathize with me, ironically, even the dear ones that I miss this moment, waiting perhaps...!!

And I keep on waiting......



2 comments:

Avantika said...

Hi,

I have come across the nice story some time back, very thoughtful...

Mountain Story...

"A son and his father were walking on the mountains.
Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Curious, he yells: "Who are you?"
He receives the answer: "Who are you?"
And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!"
The voice answers: "I admire you!"
Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!"
He receives the answer: "Coward!"
He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?"
The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention."
Again the man screams: "You are a champion!"
The voice answers: "You are a champion!"
The boy is surprised, but does not understand.
Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE.
It gives you back everything you say or do.
Our life is simply a reflection of our actions.
If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart.
If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence.
This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life;
Life will give you back everything you have given to it."

Your life is not a coincidence. It's a reflection of you!

I have been reading your earlier bits of thoughts, but I see no life no magic in your writings now-a-days, tune your emotions in synch with pulse of reality...bounce back before magic fades away...

Good luck and wish you get whatever you are waiting for... :)

Vidya said...

Life is a journey where you meet many on the way, some may come near your heart some may not but never be emotionally involved coz you never know when you will have to walk ALONE...

We just got to cherish and MOVE ON with the memories whatsoever they are bitter or sweet...