Nostalgia

I was in Chennai for the last one week. for the uninformed, Chennai is the place where my Mom stays and works and I am in Bangalore, working. I went there after a really long time and that too for a week on leave. I have literally never done that after I started working. The only times I have been in chennai for more than 3-4 days is when I was ill, when I went for my brother's marriage or when I work from there.

My brother has been married for seven months now and he felt that he had to have a place of his own and they shifted to an apartment. Mom had sentiments and feelings attached to the place that she is staying (which I might add is our own house), so she decided against moving with my brother. I have been asking her to come and stay with me in Bangalore for eons, but she refuses to do so! Why?? Well probably coz of the following:

--I am single.

--I am a workaholic and spend more than necessary hours at the office.

--She doesn't know many people here and whomever she knows stays pretty far from where I stay (and most of you know how hard it is to commute in Bangalore)

--She has a job (as a primary teacher) and she doesn't want to leave it and come here.

--She has spent enough time travelling from one place to another very frequently (Dad was a central Govt. Employee and we used to be transferred almost once in two years)

--All her brothers and people she has known all her life stay pretty closeby, so close that there is only a door separating my uncles and their families (who are still a joint family) and her.

--My brother needs someone to take care of him (that is what she always told me), coz he doesn't even know to make a tea (not that I blame him, he was always provided for!).

These are some of reasons that I fathom. I have never liked anyone forcing their opinions on me, so I have never forced anyone with my opinions. So I never really asked Mom why she did not want to come and stay with me. I thought, maybe when the time was right, she'll just come.

So coming back, I was in Chennai in our spatial house with nobody (Mom goes to school you see) and practically nothing to do. So what do I do???

Chennai is so hot at any given time of the year, that you don't feel like getting out, so I cooked whenever I could, which happened to be 3 days in the week. Without being modest, I must say that I am a pretty decent cook. One of the days my uncle was celebrating his birthday and I cooked Chicken Dum Biriyani for 50 people.

After all this I still had lots of time in my hand, it is then that I started going through the junk that had been collected over the years. Some of the things that I saw in them:

-- A trophy that I won in LKG/UKG for being the best student.

-- An oxford english dictionary I got in 1st standard for topping the class.

-- A Wren and Martin that I got when i was in 2nd standard as professiancy prize.

-- Aesop's fables and Dean's book of fairy tales that my Dad gave me after I stood in the top 3 in 3rd.

-- A Tale of Two Cities that my neighbour gifted to me when I was in fourth.

-- My first pen that I used to write in fifth, till then we used pencils.

-- The first letter that my granny wrote to me when i was in Chennai.

-- A piece of a wooden scale that broke when my Mom hit me with it.

-- My first Autograph book from sixth, wherein John madam, Chella madam, Krishna sir and Pattammal madam had signed.

-- My very first love letter that I got from Nirupama, I was in sixth at that time.

-- The pen that my close and probably the first best friend Rajnikanth made for me. Yes he made it from and old razor.

-- My second autograph book, this was from Port Blair, I was in seventh at that time.

-- A sea-shell that I took from the ocean when I went scuba-diving in Chidiyatapu, Andaman.

-- A little soil from the Cellular Jail, safe in a packet.

-- A feather of a pigeon, which died. I fought with 4 people in my class, in seventh, for saving the life of that bird, coz they were throwing stones at it.

-- The first ten rupee note that Dad gave me to enjoy, coz I stood 5th in a class of 45 people.

-- The very first diary that I wrote in the year 1994.

-- The first speech that I gave in a new school KV,Dharwad just 5 days after joining there.

-- Some of the poems that I wrote in ninth.

-- An essay that my teacher Mr. Bondekar sir made me read in the class as an example of how not to get carried away during an exam. He did mention that it was a very good piece of work, but just not for an exam.

-- The second love letter that I got in my life.

-- A momento for being a compere for the Annual day function.

-- A Lord Krishna wall hanging for winning some competions held during the farewell party, in tenth.

-- My tenth standard hall ticket.

-- Lots of Hearbeat chocolate wrappers that someone special ate during 11th.

-- A handkerchief that I gave to her and she returned, it is still untouched and safe. :)

-- A note where she called me a flirt.

-- The first cycle chain that I used, not for the cycle though.

-- A 4"x4" sorry note, where she wrote SORRY, a thousand times.

-- A small piece of pencil.

-- Letters that she wrote to me in 12th and thereafter, coz she was away from me.

-- Letters that her sister (my Rakhi sister) wrote to me.

-- My 12th standard hall ticket.

-- A packet of lead balls, that I used to try to kill myself.

-- A hand written note from a Spastic guy, who taught me the meaning of life in a single encounter of 5 hours.

-- My CET hall ticket.

-- Some booklets that I made during college days for my classes.

-- A CD of my very old documents, that I treasured at that time. The CD is not readable anymore.

-- My first paycheque (I got it when I was in first year of my college, never cashed it though!).

-- A certificate and a pen for organizing the VLSI conference during 3rd year.

-- Yet another love letter.

-- A trophy for being the best outgoing student of my department.

-- Printout of a heart to heart conversation with my ex-gf during college.

-- Dad's last purse with a ten rupee note.

-- A certificate for organizing the CAPS workshop after the college.

-- A certificate for successfully completing and executing SRiSHTI-ATE.

-- Dozens of certificates over the 2+16 years of formal education for extra-curricular, sports and academic achievements.

-- Small tokens of love given by my recent ex-girl friend.

Well all these made my entire life, till now flash before my eyes in slow motion, is it what we call nostalgia?? Or is it re-living your life again!!

I dunno, just was happy with the bitter-sweet memories! I would say, I have lived my life till now without any regrets. All I did was the best I could do at that time, maybe today, I might not do it the same way. But no regrets whatsoever.

I LOVE my life!!!

:)

Letting Go

I have had people telling me all my life to "let go"!

I read someplace "If you want to be at peace, if you want to feel the love of God in your heart, if you want to savor the present moment, then just let go of all the constraints you have put upon yourself.”

It is so simple, is it not? Yes to someone who says, it is, but to practice what you preach, is it that simple??

All these years,

· I have held on to my desires.

· I have held on to what I thought I needed.

· I have held on to whatever promised me happiness.

· I have held on to my possessions.

· I have held on to my image of who I am.

· I have held on to my ideas of what is right.

· I have held on to my theories.

· I have held on to my beliefs.

· I have held on to my attitudes.

· I have held on to my judgments.

· I have held on to the past.

· I have held on to the future.

· I have held on to relationships.

· I have held on to material things.

· I have held on to my grievances.

· I have held on to my fears.

· I have held on to my loves.

· I have held on to my lovers.

· I have held on to money.

· I have held on to my thoughts.

· I have held on to my illusions.

· I have held on to memories.

· Last, but not the least, I have held on to my life.

Is this wrong?? I don’t know! I have always had a sense of security (maybe false, maybe real) by holding on!! To put it simply, I was scared to let go! I read a story where a climber holds on to a rope for his dear life, when GOD asks him to let go. He doesn’t listen and holds on. Next day his corpse is found by rescuers, holding on to the rope, just two feet above the ground.

It all depends, I feel, some ropes are necessary to hold, but many others can and should be let go.

Past couple of weeks has been a real eye-opener of sorts and I have figured out some of the ropes that I have to let go. I am now feeling more liberated and at peace with myself.

I do not have a constant turmoil inside me.

I smile a lot, not the superficial smile I always wear, but a genuine smile.

I am not fighting myself over things I do not like, but still have to do.

I am not frustrated if things do not go my way.

For those of you who know me well, I have got missed calls in the night! Yes, I have slept and did not pick up the calls. For those of who don’t know me so well, I have a bad habit of picking up any call I get, even when I am asleep, I wake up to receive that call, even if my phone just vibrates! JEarlier, the only time I have not picked up calls was when I was medicated to sleep!

So I guess it helps to let go, but not all the things....

:)

Wishing, You Loved Me Again . .

Ask me, just one more time

To be yours, for ever more
To share, for better or worse
And this time I won't let you go.

 

Tell me, just one more time
That you dream of me, and nothing else
That without me, you're incomplete
And this time, I won't be such a fool.

 

Hear me, just one more time
Forget all that I said before,
Why, I do not know
But now, I really want you back.

 

Look back just one more time,
See the smile fade away,
See these eyes longing,
Wishing you loved me again . . 

Mango mood......

I woke up on Saturday morning (1100hrs) and had this big urge to eat mango! After my morning ablution, I went out to the friendly supermarket and bought a kilogram of mango. There was around 5 of them in it. I had 3 of them before 1300hrs, so did not feel like eating brunch. Then I set about the task of finishing "The Appeal" by Grisham (I was reading it for a long time). Finally by around 1730hrs I was done and I started to watch the F1 qualifying. I set out now to eat the other two mangoes that was left out. It was really delicious. 

Now I was out of mangoes and wanted more. But the qualifying was on and I had to wait till it got over. Ferrari qualified 2nd and 5th.Was not really pleased with the results but was happy.

I went out the supermarket (I still have no idea why it is called a supermarket), and saw bottled fresh mango juice. I bought them and came home when a bright idea stuck me!! I had vodka in my house and I mixed it with teh mango juice that I got and kept it in the refrigerator.

I went out to the corner juice shop and ordered a mango milk shake. Then I had a mango mousse and I was starting to get bored with my mango mania. I decided enough was enough and bought another kilogram of mangoes and came back home and finished the VODKA-MANGO drink that was in the refrigerator. I ate the mangoes that I got for dinner and went to sleep thinking..... 

"What tomorrow? Oranges, Peaches, Strawberries, Pineapples or just plain Apples??"

True friendship!!!

A mail that I got from a friend of mine..... Was funny and nice, so thought of sharing with y'all.

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card - Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid. 
4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining. 
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want catch whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end.
"Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. 
( Thanks for being the piss in my pants)
Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!!
(And don't send it back to me.... I don't want to hear it!!!) 

Luv & Rgds

WHAT IS MARRIAGE a 30 point answer?

 I have tried to compile this just for fun......

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence). 

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution fo the blind. 

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING. 

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens. 

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead. 

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. 

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes. 

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it. 

10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE! 

11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. 

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense. 

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why. 

14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL. 

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. 

17. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe. 

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together. 

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent. 

21. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always. 

22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer. 

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. 

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT. 

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lighs on. 

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN. 

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished. 

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. 

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE. 

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

 

Disclaimer: The points here have been collected from various emails that I have got over years and may or maynot be my opinions

Foot Prints....

I read this somewhere....

One day a man having conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you" 

Now the version applicable to me and people like me....
Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM, "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you... you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times I was "sitting on your head!!!"